Usually I write this blog simply to vent or process for myself, but tonight I met Ericka who linked to it from Mark, who linked to it from who knows where, so it's encouraged me to write more knowing that people actually read it and in hopes of giving the larger world a honest insight into what missions is like.
One of the perks of missionary life is meeting great people and having deep friendships that spring out of like-mindedness and struggling together.
I was reminded tonight of one the more memorable first conversations I ever had with a friend and thought I would just share it.
I had been dragged to an annual ladies conference here in town. Usually I avoid them because I feel like ladies conferences always have themes like 'how to raise Godly children' which is not applicable to my foreseeable future, or 'modern knitting patterns' (also not in future). On top of that, every time I get encouraged as a 'nurturer' I just feel like growing plants in a hot-house. But my flatmate Bethany lured me into this conference with promises of 'quality time' and probably also something about her birthday.
In a tea break amongst all the Christian matrons and maids, I sat down with a cuppa next to a girl called Candace. I'm sure we probably swapped names, and then for some reason I can not remember, I began to tell her about this dream I had recently. So this is probably how it sounded:
"I was down at the beach with my sister when all of a sudden, planes began flying low overhead and we all looked up. Then with a shock I realised that the planes were actually aliens disguised as machinery so that they could come close enough to take over our world. One landed nearby and began to swallow me, but I realised that if I was digested they would eat my sister next so I fought back and ended up tearing my way out. I was then able to fight and protect my little sister because the alien bite had turned me into a super strong zombie with no feelings so my sister was saved. Then we travelled to one of the last hide-outs of mankind. It was like a football stadium. The humans embraced my sister but then sent me down to the cellar under the bleachers because I was a zombie and that's where the other zombies were. The cellar smelt because the other zombies were in a further stage of decomposition. I came back up to the light to tell them that I didn't feel like a zombie because I was still a pretty fresh one and I was scared of the other zombies. The humans didn't care and send me back under the bleachers. The other zombies shuffled out of the darkness with only one arm or half a face and surrounded me. I was completely disgusted but began a rousing speech about how we were the last hope of mankind because we were the only ones strong enough to defeat the aliens. The zombies were in a state of self-indulgent apathy, but finally I convinced them to get out and fight.
So all of us went to a mega-church in the area. The aliens had been waiting until church was finished and then eating people as they came out of church. And they ate everybody, whole services so other people never knew and new people kept turning up Sunday after sunday and being eaten. We attended a full service and then immediately after the benediction I grabbed the microphone before people could be dismissed. I said, 'There's aliens coming soon, so who here has a gun on them?' and several people put up their hands (this is how I know the dream was set in America). I ordered them to shut and man the doors. Then I arranged for all the women and children to come down to the front stage, the most protected area. Finally, I placed the zombies in front of the left door and said, 'Everyone get ready because I guarantee you, the next person through that door will be an alien.' We all tensed, set to blast them away. But the next people to come through looked like a young family, mother pushing a pram with a little girl alongside, and the dad behind. People in the congregation began whispering and doubting me. I hesitated in giving the order to fire. But then I looked into the little girls eyes and realised that they were glowing an unnatural shade of green. The aliens had learnt how to disguise themselves as people. I also realised that I had let them get too close and had to decide between giving the order to fire on them and have people accuse me of manslaughter later, or provoke the little girl into attacking me, which wouldn't hurt since I was a zombie, but I didn't want to get mangled any further since I didn't heal. While trying to decide, I woke up."
Candace looked at me for a second and then said, "So what you're basically saying, is that you were an alien turd then?"
I thought about it and said, "Well, yes I guess I was." Then we both burst out laughing so hard it took minutes to calm down. Bethany came over to try work out what we were laughing about but in between the ramblings about being alien turds and zombies while still laughing, I don't think she fully understood us.
And out of that a great friendship was born.
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