Christianity is cheaper.

I laughed inappropriately the other day when I was at the interview of one of the first believers in a Pwo Karen village in the mountains near he border of Thailand and Myanmar. I laughed because they said the main reason why they became Christians was because it was cheaper than being animist. I'd slipped back into a Western mindset and was expecting an answer that revolved somewhere around the guilt/sin paradigm and some deep repentance, so this just caught me off-guard and I giggled.

It makes sense though. Animists have to frequently sacrifice animals to appease the spirits and so when this became too much of a burden for them, they turned to Christianity because it didn't require any animal sacrifices, and instead taught that Jesus was the already completed perfect sacrifice. 

After this, I heard my pastor was recount his experiences in Borneo sharing the gospel with an unreached tribe there. He sat quietly and talked with the headman of the village who was mainly fascinated with the idea that they would no longer have to sacrifice an animal every morning in each corner of the village for protection, as their shamans taught. By the next morning that village had become followers of Jesus. 

So is turning to Jesus out of economic need a bad motivation?

I don't actually think so. In Hebrews 9 the Bible makes a fairly big deal about how Jesus 'offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins' (v14, NLT) and superseded the OT laws of animal sacrifice, where 'the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a young cow could cleanse people's bodies from ritual defilement' (v13, NLT). I think it's just the way the Gospel is preached in the west does not emphasise the sacrifice of Jesus as anything more than a symbol, perhaps dealing with inner conscience, because we don't practice ritual sacrifice as a lifestyle. So we read it as a historical, almost symbolic story and skip over the blood, gore and money that it takes to procure animals. But it was important to people in the time of Jesus who still sacrificed in the temple in Jerusalem. And the Bible is relevant to all people, through all ages, and quite conceivably, God knew there were tribes to whom it was very important to hear that Jesus replaces actual, physical sacrifices even today. 

So can we preach something like this? 

Turn to Jesus, because it will save you all the expense of all those bulls/goats/chickens you sacrifice to spirits who give you lesser protection than the Son of God who died once and for all your sins/curses?

Sure! Why not? As long as we don't leave it just there, I think it's as valid as any other explanation of the Gospel.

Servant Leadership thoughts

When the bible talks about leadership, it offers metaphors and relationships, like shepherd to sheep and father to child rather than models.
The metaphors the bible uses changes according to the society it's speaking to. So in the NT the metaphors change from rural ones (like sheep), to urban ones (like Greek gyms).
So what are the post-modern equivalents metaphors for servant leadership?

The truth is that leaders and followers share power. You are not a leader if no one is following. Now, the questions is does this work in our relationship with God? I think that God chooses to share power with his followers.

Understanding world view

Charles Kraft's fundamental world view orientations
1. Everyone needs order and logic, classification and categorization of their world. That's why we name and see pictures in stars and name animals and plants into species etc. Western science focuses a lot on organizing the world. A tribal people might classify into domestic versus wild.
2. Everyone needs an identity and a way to relate to other people's identity. Like babies when they start to figure out that they are a separate person from mum. You need to work out what identity you fit into with the people you minister to, otherwise when you constantly break the mold you confuse them, for example, in Thailand I am an older sister to some and a younger sister to others but I still have a place in the family hierarchy.
3. Need to have a sense of cause and effect. Ty to find explanations for random or unknown phenomena. Like getting sick- some cultures may blame germs or mosquitoes, some cultures may blame spirits or an internal imbalance or energy etc. Or blame karma. So when people are convinced that they are sick from spiritual causes, if you deny it you have shut the door to minister to them further. Instead heal both the spirit and the body.
4. Everyone needs a time orientation. We need to work it where we are at in a sequence of events or time continuum. It's the year 2555 here in Thailand by the way.
5. Everyone needs to have a sense of where they are in space. Geographical and physical location.
6. Everyone needs relationships

Seven existential questions of any religion

I'm currently studying the dynamics of religion, looking at experiences all around the world. This was an interesting common theme to me- questions everyone asks. Then I write after my own opinion of what me faith says.

1. Is there life after death?
Yes
2. Is there supernatural healing for illness?
Yes, though sometimes He chooses not to.
3. Is there supernatural power for success?
Some people think there's set formula where money or ritual goes in and success comes out, but I think this is more accurate of the way it works
" Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:6-7
4. Is there supernatural power to protect me?
Yes, but sometimes He chooses not to, after all, even Jesus died.
5. What is the cause of and answer to evil?
The combination of Satan and humans, stemming from the original fall.
6. What is the meaning of life?
Love God, love people and try to leave something of lasting spiritual value before you go.
7. Is there purpose in suffering?
Sometimes it's training character or changing people for the better, sometimes it's just the result of living in a fallen world.

Social justice

Social justice is a really hot topic right now in pop culture. It's now cool to have fair trade items, eat organic, join Facebook groups for a cause, buy the rubber bracelet/badge/tshirt and maybe even occupy wall street etc. Living in Thailand where human trafficking and poverty are daily realities, I feel that it is good that people are being made more aware that there is a world that suffers. The key for us as Christians is to not just superficially band-aid it and instead realize two things:
1) There will be no lasting change without God. I have seen so much of the dependency created by aid handouts. You can feed people immediately and that is good, but the long term problems leading to their poverty and hunger are not going to go away until there is real heart change in individuals. There will always be victims until the hearts of predators are transformed. And when enough hearts are changed, then a whole culture can change to be more like the Kingdom of God on earth. And the only power big enough to effect this kind of change is the transforming love of Jesus Christ, doing His thing in peoples lives.
2) Sometimes when we look at the world's problems, we might get overwhelmed and want to throw up our hands and say 'it's too big, too difficult to fix' and retreat into the sanctuary of our comfortable daily life. We need to remember that it is God in control. We are not responsible for fixing the whole world, we are simply going to be held responsible for doing what God has asked of us. I like to think of it as a little garden plot in the world that he gives us to tend. My garden plot is here in Chiangmai, Thailand, although it has recently expanded to include Asia and that is a little unnerving, but he also gives the gardening tools. I would encourage you all to open your hearts to just ask God what garden plot he has set for you to tend, whether it be supporting or even going into missions overseas, helping out at the homeless shelter or even just reaching out to a lonely neighbour in your community.
I think this is how we effect real lasting change in the world, and we don't do it primarily because the world needs it (because you'll get burnt out if that's your main motivation), we do it because we serve a loving God and He is worth it.

Why must we be apart?

So today I had to say goodbye to people who are very near and very dear to me. This is something that has been recurring over and over on furlough, because inevitably I must return to Thailand. I know that is where I am called and where I will be for a very long time, but it causes me grief to know I have to live apart from those I love and I find myself asking God "why?" Why is it that to serve You I have to leave people behind when it feels so much more natural that we should be living life together? Why must I leave them when I feel like they need me? And I am afraid of this: At the end of my life I just don't want to find myself wishing that I had lived it more with them! And so I come to these few answers, and I don't know if any other missionary has found better ones. I give people up to God knowing that He loves them so much more than even I do, even if it feels like my heart will burst. He can also take care of them so much better than I could, even if I stayed. We also have all eternity to live together, and our short time of separation on earth is going to seem trivial to that and I must do the work that is set before me. Finally in the end, there is only this: My Lord is worth the sacrifice, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt.

Reasons for furlough

As I came through customs into the US, the usual suspicious officer asked, "What kind of job do you have that let's you have 3 months off?"

"It's my furlough", I said. 

"What is that?"

"I'm a missionary and they give us a long break so that we don't burn out."

While that was a very succinct was of putting it, it is part of the truth. As I write this I am on a mini-furlough in the US, road-tripping around it. I already miss Thailand terribly, and in some ways wish to be back constantly, even though it is incredibly hot and smoggy there right now. I guess the first realisation I had then, was that Thailand has truly become home in the last 4 years, as I am homesick.

So I am reminding myself of my reasons for furlough. The Dahlfreds have a great article written up on their blog if you would like to read the overall reasons for furlough, but I'll just process through my own reasons here since so many people have asked me what I am doing in the US.

Reasons for this furlough:

• Reconnecting with friends. Over the years in study and in missions, my friendships have spread all over the world and now I have deep friends I have not seen for years in the US, so I thought it was time. Being in Thailand can occasionally leave me feeling isolated because so many people come and go, but very few stay for the long term, so I average losing at least 5 good friends per year.
• Renewal. While I do take breaks in Thailand, I have come to slowly realize that being out of the Thai context is leaving me time to reflect on experiences and think through bigger picture issues that I just don't even get around to considering usually. Hopefully at the end of this process my head is in better shape to return to Thailand. I am also doing my version of resting, which is just having plain 'ol fun and adventures. On the other hand, being in America is somewhat stressful because I don't know how to do things here (it took me half an hour to figure out how to pump gas the first time) and I have to drive on the right. And it is cold.
• Deputation. As I prepare to step into a new role setting up a field co-ordination team with Project Video, I have been travelling thanking churches for their support, connecting with new churches and people, networking with other mission agencies, and trying to raise the profile of the field co-ordination team. 
• Training. In Thailand, I will the first and currently, the only Field Co-ordinator for Asia. My boss is US based and has been travelling back and forth to pioneer this ministry. When I begin, I will assume some of his Asia-side responsibilities so I will b spending time training with him.

So the overall goal is always longevity. While I don't feel like I'm burning out, I have had very stressful times in the last four years (think of when the car was breaking down in the middle of the Bangkok floods and it looked like my team could be stranded!).  I am there to stay in Thailand and if coming away means that I don't burn out or have a break down further down the track, then I have to keep reminding myself, it is worth it.

Taking the Lord's name in vain

When I was little, I was never allowed to 'take the Lord's name in vain.' This meant any sort of utterances like 'Oh my God!' when surprised etc. On a sidenote, I realised that it must just a be natural human reaction to do that because Muslims will say 'Oh Allah!' when they're shocked or surprised, it was a funny thing to hear in a different culture.
Today I was reading Jeremiah 12, and I reached verse 16, where it says 'If these nations quickly learn the ways of my people, and if they learn to swear by my name saying "As surely as the Lord lives" (just as they taught my people to swear by the name of Baal) then they will be given a place among my people.' (NLT)

What? They will get rewarded by God for swearing by his name?! What happened to not taking it in vain?!

So I looked up the Strongs Concordance (http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H7650&t=KJV) on the word 'swear' which turns out to be 'shaba' in Hebrew. It seems to mean to promise to do something in God's name. Reading through a couple of commentaries, it seems that to swear oaths in the name of the Lord is a verbal symbol for being totally committed to the worship of the Lord. So it is a good thing to swear in the name of the Lord, and it explains why He gets so angry about swearing to Baal - it's tantamount to expressing worship of Baal.

So how would be take it in vain then if it is a good thing to swear by God's name? Well, it seems that to 'take' is to bear or exalt the 'name' (the identity or reputation) of God in 'vain' (emptiness). To bear the reputation of God in emptiness. To have the form of godliness without substance. My closest understanding of this verse then would be that God does not want us to have the outward semblances of religious worship while our hearts are far from Him. At the very least, He would not want us to make promises in his name, saying 'As surely as the Lord lives I will do it' and then not go through with it.
He only wants us fully committed to taking his name and living it out. The issue was never that we were taking it, that seems to be a good thing to have the Lord constantly on our lips, but the real problem was when it was in vain, only on our lips and not in our heart.

My bowels! My bowels! Jeremiah 4:19

This morning I felt God say that He was giving me time, not just so I can get ready for my next big trip, but also so that I could spend in depth time with Him like I used to when my life was last uncluttered enough to be able to pour out a couple of hours each day (sadly that was in 2003). So instead of just reading my bible and journaling as usual, I looked up some online commentaries (http://bible.cc/jeremiah/4-19.htm). I like these because they almost cheat for you - they cross-reference already and bring up parellel bible versions.
Now, I have been readying through Jeremiah. Frankly, unless I am severely angry or feel oppressed, it's hard for me to connect with the books of the prophets usually. I have been very slowly reading through the bible, so I began at Jeremiah 4:19:

 "My heart, my heart - I writhe in pain! My heart pounds within me! For I have heard the blast of enemy trumpets and the roar of their battle cries." (NLT)

Actually I am feeling rather serene this morning, so I asked God to show me what he wanted to say with this, because I wasn't really feeling it.  Turning to the bible.cc website, I read:

"My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war." (KJV)

My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at the walls of my heart, Make a noise for me doth My heart, I am not silent, For the voice of a trumpet I have heard, O my soul -- a shout of battle! (YLT)

Now I knew that the ancients considered the stomach to be the seat of the emotions but it still sounds funny for Jeremiah to be yelling out "My bowels!"

But then I remembered. A while ago I was told news so bad that when it sunk in, I felt like retching for two days. I was literally 'sick to my stomach'. To protect the people involved, I could not talk to anyone about it, but my grieving came out physically. And when I read this verse of Jeremiah with that experience in mind, I realised that Jeremiah basically detailed a step by step description of the physical stages of grieving.

First, it hits like a punch in the stomach. At first, I wasn't even aware that I was grieving, because I have been hardened by living here in Thailand and hearing terrible things all the time. I actually thought I may have caught a stomach bug and was doubled over in pain.

Secondly, I think when it says the "walls of my heart", that really does describe the way the heart starts beating so hard that it hurts, and I became nervous that it actually might do some permanent damage. The physical pain really does feel like it's the walls, the muscles around the heart straining to contain it. It's similar to the speed of heart rate after really intense exercise, like having run a sprint. You get short of breath. There's also scientific evidence that when your heart beats that fast, it disorientates you and actually throws you into a mental tunnel-vision panic like state, so you are mentally as well as physically suffering.

Lastly, when it says "my heart maketh a noise", the sound of your heartbeat rushing through the blood in your ears does become very loud. 

So I realized that Jeremiah was expressing this most physical form of travailing, grieving over his people. It was a moment of connection to the suffering of a prophet so many thousands of years ago. And recently I have realized that this kind of grieving can only come from love. Stated negatively, if you didn't care you wouldn't grieve. Being able to love so deeply that the pain of another strikes you physically is a strange side-effect of God's gift to the human spirit, but I wouldn't want it otherwise, even though when it is happening I sometimes pray for it to be taken away.

Poor Jeremiah, the weeping prophet who loved his wayward people.

Speaking of Globalisation

Missionary mistakes in changing cultures

Among the Doni tribe, in Irian Jaya, men sleep in a long house and then each wife and little or unmarried children would have their own house. The men would plan their activities all together in the long house. Also men would not sleep with their wives during pregnancies or while the baby was breast-feeding. That's about 3 years of abstinence. Basically this was a form of community birth control.
Then some missionaries (not all) believed that the nuclear family was important, so they convinced the man to move in with their families. Then it all got awkward. There was not enough space, so there would be full grown daughters having to work out how to get changed while their father was in the house. The men did not get enough time to plan their activities so the communication in the village broke down. Women started having too many babies too closely together because the men couldn't help it when they had to be in the same house every night, and then the babies would die of starvation because there was not enough milk to go around... In the end, the men gave up and moved back into the long house.

10 traits that make cultures change

Taken from James Harrison's Culture Development Project - an analysis of cultures around the world and how they develop. He came up with 10 characteristics that were seen over and over again in cultures that developed faster.

• A culture that emphasizes the future and progress (time-oriented cultures) will progress faster than static cultures that focus on the present.
• Work ethic - cultures where work is central to living and rewards develop faster.
• Finances - cultures that save and invest for the future rather than spend and consume immediately (or try to distribute it to everybody immediately) will change faster.
• Education - when it is valued and viewed as a key to progress the culture will progress, if it is seen as of no value except to the elite, the culture will stagnate.
• Advancement - when people are advanced based on merit rather than connections.
• Community - where trust and identification extends beyond family (if you only trust in family and exploit everyone else you will not develop).
• Ethical code- progressive cultures have rigorous moral codes, static cultures have corruption as a way of life. 
• Justice and fair play- progressive cultures will have justice for all, static cultures only extend justice to intimate connections of friends and connections. Think of Paul under the Roman Empire claiming his citizenship after the beating from his jailor, giving immunity - what about all the other people who were beaten?
• Authority - in progressive cultures it is dispersed and horizontal vs static cultures have strong vertical authority and is hierarchical.
• Religion - Progressive cultures have less religious influence on civic life. (Personally I would debate that this depends on which religion since Christianity promotes all the other progressive traits).

Harrison concludes that culture is indeed either a hindrance or an asset for progress, but having shown that correlation he then proposes that responsible leadership by a country’s political representations must assume the duties of saving people from their own limitations.

If the World Were a Village of 100 People

If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

The village would have 61 Asians, 13 Africans, 13 people from the Western Hemisphere (North & South America), 12 Europeans, and 1 from the South Pacific
51 would be male, 49 would be female
70 would be non-white; 30 white
67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian

As to their ages:
30 would be 0-14 years old
63 would be 15-64 years old
7 would be 65 years old and older

20 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
18 would be without access to a safe water supply
39 would lack access to improved sanitation
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
7 people would have access to the Internet
1 would have a college education
1 would have HIV
2 would be near birth; 1 near death
6 would control 59% of the entire world’s wealth; all 6 would be US citizens

Sources: The Global Citizen, May 31, 1990, Donella H. Meadows (unless otherwise noted below), The CIA World Factbook
2001 (age, birth, death, internet), 2001 World Development Indicators, World Bank (HIV), Adherents 2001 (religion) Bread for the World (malnourishment), United Nations Population Fund (food security) The Global Supply and Sanitation
Assessment 2000 Report (improved water, improved sanitation)


I reposted this from the Family Care Foundation. It's a sadly accurate view of our world and the continued need all around it.

Good Friday

Today I began work slightly bitter that our office didn't close when all my friends in Australia are face-booking about their 5 day weekends. The we watched this animated video. And all I could think about throughout was 'that is my Lord and Saviour'. It's just a cartoon, but knowing that Jesus had to go through it in real life had tears pouring down my cheeks ( a little embarassing in an office situation, but luckily we have men who cry in this office so I don't feel too awkward).

Along with meditating on the substitution this was for me - the face I should have been the one there suffering, my thoughts eventually turned to the repercussions of this single act on the world. Phillip Yancey in his book 'What Good is God?' has an article in which he says (loosely paraphrased from my memory) that until Jesus the record of human history and narratives only celebrated victors. But with the sacrifice of Jesus a new narrative entered the thread of human history - that of the victim being the true victor, of the moral and transformational power of sacrifice and that the downtrodden individual has value and a voice. And it's this new narrative that birthed movements like the end of apartheid & segregation, the end of slavery and is still fuelling movements like the end of child traffiking. The value of any individual goes up immeasurably when someone else has sacrificed their life for them.

We do see in cultures over the world stories of great personal sacrifice for the greater good, and the power and value of that sacrifice is recognised in ways like the Mooncake Festival in China (my mother told me the mooncakes were thrown into the river to prevent the fishes from eating the body of a noble General who was unjustly killed) and even here in Chiangmai there is a Chedi that commemorates a soldier who saved the Lanna Kingdom by tying himself to a stone in the river and drowning, thereby winning the competition against an invading kingdom. These stories are of people dying for their communities, ideology and allegiances, but only in Jesus did someone sacrifice their life for everyone regardless of whether they regarded it as a benefit or not.

This was like a huge rent in the fabric human history, and when I am constantly brushing with issues like poverty, prostitution, child labour and human traffiking here, then this is a paradigm shift I must believe is still changing the world now.

Re-entry thoughts

Just a few things that jolted me when I returned to Sydney, Australia for a month after over two years in Thailand.

• Traffic laws are so strictly enforced! Big brother is everywhere on the roads.
• Everyone has an iphone.
• All the motorbikes are so big.
• There's so many cultures mixing it up.
• People look kind of depressed on the trains (they're probably going to work) and no one is eating.

Excerpt from a short interview with Rick Warren

The article below was pretty inspirational to me so I thought I'd pass it on.
In an interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life: The goal is to grow in character, In Christ-likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believ'e that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people...You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instanfly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.

I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for you to own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan - to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better...God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

The Attrition of the Heart

This attrition of the heart is somewhat horrible in overseas missions. Either you're missing people from your home country, knowing you're not there for major and important parts of their lives, or you're at home missing friends from the mission field. And after a while, parts of your heart are spread out all over the world and even though globalisation and cheap airlines are drawing us together more often; there is simply no substitute for lives intertwined in daily rhythm.
B, I'll miss you.

Rest & Stability

The main message at church today was to rest in God rather than just work for Him. It made me realise how much my perspective has changed. I'm over 'doing' church and into 'being' church. I'm actively avoiding religious duties and no longer believe in putting on a program just because we should be doing something. I'm into organic community and just being with people- flaws, absurdities and all. People over programs every time.
The other major mental gear shift God has changed was my idea of where my stability came from. Frankly, coming into the middle of this year I was getting tired. I have changed continents every 6 months for the last three years. I'm always leaving my friends or they're leaving me and who knows how many years will pass till our next meeting (heaven?). Then I start over afresh in every new place with new people and sometimes a new language (or accent). I just needed a home. So seeing as I know I will be here in Chiangmai for a while, I began to look for a more stable living situation. Hilariously, while I was thinking this, I have had at least 5 good friends and 3 flatmates leave and moved house twice already. One of my closest friends here is leaving on a jetplane in a couple of weeks, don't know when they'll be back again. Driving me, in desperation, to the realisation that my stability is in God and that must be enough.

Relationships- talk by Dean Sherman

Just to explain, i went to Solomons Porch church and heard this talk so I took notes on my blog app. My note-taking style can be pretty cryptic though.
Love is usually thought of as confusing- linguistically, cross-culturally etc. Actually, its clear- 1 John 3:16 -this is love, jesus laid down his life for us, you do the same for others...
Heart of Good relationships: the cross.
The problem is not that we are only human, its that we are selfish.
The answer to selfishness is service- not withdrawing yourself to try work it out.
You can get along with anyone- you just both need to be humble.
Unity is corporate humility.
The truth: If you have trouble maintaining relationships, check your truth meter. People don't want to be near someone who speaks love and acts otherwise. NT truth has 2 meanings- what is right & what is real. Jesus was the truth-he was real.
Romans 10:9 love must be sincere. Relationships are only as deep as they are open & transparent. Sex is the symbol of intimacy & transparency, our culture mistakes it for the actual intimacy.
The world says truth is defined by love- they love each other so it's ok. But love is defined by truth.
1 John 3:17-18 actions speak louder than words. Love chooses the highest & best. Love is a choice more than a feeling.
God will never tell you to marry someone you don't love...He is the author of romantic feeling. Marriage is not a gamble or only hard work...God who can keep you from falling can keep you married. Keep commited by choice and feelings will follow. Choose what is love to the other person (except with kids, you got to do things to kids that they don't think is love).
Choose what is appropriate for the occasion. 15 yr olds can love deeply but its not appropriate, you can love a non-believer, but your household will be torn...its not wrong, but its not the best for you or them.

Spot the difference

So I thought that being a missionary would be a vastly different lifestyle, and in some ways it is. I have to 'wai' my greeting, I ride my motorbike between rows of songthews and tuktuks and can't really park in the shopping centre when it's busy cause my bike gets stuck in the jam-packed rows and I can't come back out, I have not much financial control over my life and $20 now seems like a huge amount of money, I fear dengue mosquitoes, I speak softer and move slower than in Australia and I eat very little red meat, but I do eat out a lot.
On the other hand, I'm finding most of the differences are external and many things are still the same. I'm still trying to make friends and building relationships is kind of the same process world over - takes time! I still have to work to get along with everyone, cause you would think being a missionary would make you a nicer, holier or at least less irritating person, but that doesn't seem to be true. I'm still slowly getting involved with a church. Technology still breaks down on me and I spend half my day fixing computers. I still deal with some racism, although it's kind of reversed - now I am accepted for my face until I speak. I still have to try not to impulse buy, even if the price converts to $1. I still stay up way too late reading (although english books are harder to get), I still eat pancakes on sat mornings (although I am also reaching out to the banana pancake cafe owner at the same time) and I have got to try get more exercise!
In fact, I've pretty much realised that most of my daily stuggles just have a different skin now and moving overseas hasn't made me suddenly holier, probably just more dependent on God. Mission is just living the Christian life in less comfortable surroundings.