Not long ago, my back ached, my side was sore (from being pummelled by a kickboxer – but that's another story) and basically, I needed a massage. However, it was getting late and the reputable massage parlour I frequented was closed. Outside the next parlour a lady sat, calling “Maaaaaaaaasaaaaaaaaaaaaage” to all passersby. Just her strident voice was off-putting, but it was open still and I was desperate.
As I walked up she was pre-occupied flirting with a Western man ('farang') and signalled a smaller, older lady to tend to me. I changed into the classic thai fisherman pants and lay down on a mat. Weirdly, the older farang guy came and lay down on the mat next to me. He was from Holland and initially thought that I worked at the massage parlour (later I realised he probably had wanted to hire me). After answering his continued questions in a non-encouraging way, I revealed that I was a missionary in Chiangmai, at which his eyebrows shot up and he said in heavily accented english “Wow, that is a surprise!” The conversation petered out as I began talking with my masseur in Thai and he walked away muttering “I don't understand”.
My masseur was from Isaan province, which is one of the poorest in Thailand. She was tiny, and dressed in a singlet and daisy dukes which made her look younger, but she was over 50 and had a daughter my age. She had worked in a reggae bar in town (the same reggae bar where I was kickboxed incidentally) for two years, but got sick of being on her feet all the time so had signed up for a two week massage course and now here she was massaging me (which didn't really inspire confidence). She wanted to get out of the massage shop and work for the hospital. Her son had finished studying but hadn't found a job while her daughter had a Norwegian boyfriend and lived 3 months at a time there. Lot of life information exchanged over massage.
Meanwhile, a fairly good-looking, somewhat drunk 20-something English boy had come into the massage shop and he was being massaged behind a screen by a 23 year old Thai girl. When he was done, he kept saying “She's beautiful, she deserves better than this” and asking “How much to just cuddle with her for the night? I don't want to have sex with her, she's beautiful, I just want to cuddle!”
Immediately the sharp voiced masseur at the door said, “3000, 4000 baht!”
“You don't understand, I don't want to have sex, I just want to lie here and cuddle. How much to just stay here the night.”
“You stay here all night can not, this is a shop. You have sex with her here 1 hour – 1000 baht. Or you take her with you all night 4000 baht.”
On and on it went with the boy protesting innocence (he also borrowed money off the Dutch guy) and finally leading the girl away 4000 baht poorer. I wanted to really believe that they were going to 'just cuddle' all night. It was a nicer thought than realising that I had just seen someone sold for only $130 for a night. Apparently all massage shops offered sex on the side. My masseur was telling me she was too old to go with 'guests' like that anymore so she just did thai and oil massages. I was so tense from watching all this that I'm not sure her pushing and pulling had any effect on my muscles. Then it got even weirder.
The lady with the nasal voice began asking the Dutch man, “You are a man, you know man-feeling. Why is it that man don't like me? I always talk with them, she never talk, only sleep. Man talk with me, but then when they come in she wake up and they say 'I want her.' Only talk with me, man don't want me. What is wrong with my body, my face?” It seems like body image and low self esteem issues were common to all women – teenage virgins or hardened prostitutes.
The Dutch man was trying to tell her that she needed to “be a little more sexy, put on a show a little.” To demonstrate how to put on a show he did a headstand in front of a very startled passerby. The masseur was sitting on the steps wrapped in a black shawl and he began teasing her about being “like a muslim” and pulling the shawl over her head. “Show a little more cleavage,” he said.
“But I am shy, I like to cover up.”
“That won't attract men.”
I was just passing them leave the shop and from her perch on the steps she looked me full in the eyes and asked “Why is it 10 men talk with me, but only 2-3 want to do something with me, 8 with her? Sometimes I try to do happy ending, but the man stop and say they can not with me. They say I am nice girl. I talk with them. What is wrong with me?”
What a question! So I sat down and tried to come up with something in Thai.
“Pi, you are beautiful too but I think it has something to do with spirit inside the heart.” My thai was very faltering at the part about spirit because I haven't really learnt abstract religious words like that, so I'm really not sure she understood. She did catch the part about heart though, “Yes, it hurt my heart when they not go with me, I feel bad.”
There is one word that catches this whole feeling in thai and so I said it “Noi jai, right?”
Noi jai literally means little heart – or to be made to feel small and worthless.
She was so eager in agreement, “Yes, yes, noi jai a lot! Everyday pain...”
“Then why don't you leave and find other work?”
“I can earn much money here, I have two daughters to take care of and my boyfriend is dead. Elsewhere I earn 6,500 in one month, here I can make 8,000 baht in 10 days. But I have been working here same time as other girl, one month only and she make so much more money.”
The Dutch man put in his two cents, “You need to touch the customers more, don't be afraid of them, the others are here.”
“Yes, yes she never talk but always touch client, I never touch only talk. Thankyou, I see now, I need to touch more.” Her face showed enlightenment and while I was in total disbelief at what I was hearing. I could feel she essentially wanted my input on how to become a better paid prostitute and I wanted to re-affirm her self-image without encouraging that!
So I tried some thai style logic. “A good boyfriend is looking for someone who looks like a 'rep-roy' girl, and acting like that won't attract a good man.”
'Rep-roy' is not just nice, but dainty, neat, feminine and perfect in one word.
“Yes, I don't look rep-roy now,” she said so softly and sadly that I couldn't believe it was the same strident voice I had heard earlier.
Just then the English boy passed the shop carrying a bag of snacks, but clearly on his own.
“Hey you, where is girl?!” Her voice cut sharply through the night.
“She's gone, so I'm going home to Harmony house,” he said nonchalantly, naming a guesthouse down the road.
“Gone where? Where you leave her?! You buy her all night.” Her voice was getting aggressive now.
“We did it once, and then she just took off into the next room, and I was alone so I'm going home.”
So much for wanting to believe in 'just cuddling'. There was a quick intense interchange in thai between the two older masseurs, who were confused. My masseur thought she might have gone into the wrong room by accident. I was getting the picture that this girl was an airhead.
“You want me to bring her back? I'll go find her and bring her back,” he helpfully offered. He soon came back with her in tow. She embarrassedly explained that she had gone to the bathroom.
“Well, do you want to come with me to Harmony House? It was so quick you know...”
She laughed and grabbed his cheeks, then walked into the shop and grabbed more condoms. Then she drank a cupful of an anti-pregnancy solution and went away with him down the road, with his words floating back over their shoulders, “we got at least 4 more times tonight!”
The Dutch man looked at me and said, “You must treat women right, sleep with them one time ok, some men hit a girl, and 4 times all night is not right.” Slightly unusual moral standard I thought, but said instead, “they have no protection.”
I asked the masseur in the shawl, “How do you know if this is a good person or not?”
She said nothing but just rubbed her fingers together in the international signal for money.
“Some man not nice, hit girls.”
It was now 1 am so I took my leave, “Pi, save up and get out quick ok?”
“I am saving,” she said, but her face looked resigned.
As I walked away her figure hunched over in the covering black shawl was imprinted on my mind. Hours later I realised I hadn't told her the truth because I couldn't verbalise it then. The reason why men couldn't take advantage of her was because deep down she hated it, and they could feel that even through their lust. She still had tatters of self-respect that were being shredded further everyday.
Lastly, as I treaded my way out through the mud I passed the English boy demanding that the Thai girl hand over what she had in her pocket – the condoms. “Take medicine, ok?” was my last quiet words to her in Thai as I walked past into the night.
As I walked up she was pre-occupied flirting with a Western man ('farang') and signalled a smaller, older lady to tend to me. I changed into the classic thai fisherman pants and lay down on a mat. Weirdly, the older farang guy came and lay down on the mat next to me. He was from Holland and initially thought that I worked at the massage parlour (later I realised he probably had wanted to hire me). After answering his continued questions in a non-encouraging way, I revealed that I was a missionary in Chiangmai, at which his eyebrows shot up and he said in heavily accented english “Wow, that is a surprise!” The conversation petered out as I began talking with my masseur in Thai and he walked away muttering “I don't understand”.
My masseur was from Isaan province, which is one of the poorest in Thailand. She was tiny, and dressed in a singlet and daisy dukes which made her look younger, but she was over 50 and had a daughter my age. She had worked in a reggae bar in town (the same reggae bar where I was kickboxed incidentally) for two years, but got sick of being on her feet all the time so had signed up for a two week massage course and now here she was massaging me (which didn't really inspire confidence). She wanted to get out of the massage shop and work for the hospital. Her son had finished studying but hadn't found a job while her daughter had a Norwegian boyfriend and lived 3 months at a time there. Lot of life information exchanged over massage.
Meanwhile, a fairly good-looking, somewhat drunk 20-something English boy had come into the massage shop and he was being massaged behind a screen by a 23 year old Thai girl. When he was done, he kept saying “She's beautiful, she deserves better than this” and asking “How much to just cuddle with her for the night? I don't want to have sex with her, she's beautiful, I just want to cuddle!”
Immediately the sharp voiced masseur at the door said, “3000, 4000 baht!”
“You don't understand, I don't want to have sex, I just want to lie here and cuddle. How much to just stay here the night.”
“You stay here all night can not, this is a shop. You have sex with her here 1 hour – 1000 baht. Or you take her with you all night 4000 baht.”
On and on it went with the boy protesting innocence (he also borrowed money off the Dutch guy) and finally leading the girl away 4000 baht poorer. I wanted to really believe that they were going to 'just cuddle' all night. It was a nicer thought than realising that I had just seen someone sold for only $130 for a night. Apparently all massage shops offered sex on the side. My masseur was telling me she was too old to go with 'guests' like that anymore so she just did thai and oil massages. I was so tense from watching all this that I'm not sure her pushing and pulling had any effect on my muscles. Then it got even weirder.
The lady with the nasal voice began asking the Dutch man, “You are a man, you know man-feeling. Why is it that man don't like me? I always talk with them, she never talk, only sleep. Man talk with me, but then when they come in she wake up and they say 'I want her.' Only talk with me, man don't want me. What is wrong with my body, my face?” It seems like body image and low self esteem issues were common to all women – teenage virgins or hardened prostitutes.
The Dutch man was trying to tell her that she needed to “be a little more sexy, put on a show a little.” To demonstrate how to put on a show he did a headstand in front of a very startled passerby. The masseur was sitting on the steps wrapped in a black shawl and he began teasing her about being “like a muslim” and pulling the shawl over her head. “Show a little more cleavage,” he said.
“But I am shy, I like to cover up.”
“That won't attract men.”
I was just passing them leave the shop and from her perch on the steps she looked me full in the eyes and asked “Why is it 10 men talk with me, but only 2-3 want to do something with me, 8 with her? Sometimes I try to do happy ending, but the man stop and say they can not with me. They say I am nice girl. I talk with them. What is wrong with me?”
What a question! So I sat down and tried to come up with something in Thai.
“Pi, you are beautiful too but I think it has something to do with spirit inside the heart.” My thai was very faltering at the part about spirit because I haven't really learnt abstract religious words like that, so I'm really not sure she understood. She did catch the part about heart though, “Yes, it hurt my heart when they not go with me, I feel bad.”
There is one word that catches this whole feeling in thai and so I said it “Noi jai, right?”
Noi jai literally means little heart – or to be made to feel small and worthless.
She was so eager in agreement, “Yes, yes, noi jai a lot! Everyday pain...”
“Then why don't you leave and find other work?”
“I can earn much money here, I have two daughters to take care of and my boyfriend is dead. Elsewhere I earn 6,500 in one month, here I can make 8,000 baht in 10 days. But I have been working here same time as other girl, one month only and she make so much more money.”
The Dutch man put in his two cents, “You need to touch the customers more, don't be afraid of them, the others are here.”
“Yes, yes she never talk but always touch client, I never touch only talk. Thankyou, I see now, I need to touch more.” Her face showed enlightenment and while I was in total disbelief at what I was hearing. I could feel she essentially wanted my input on how to become a better paid prostitute and I wanted to re-affirm her self-image without encouraging that!
So I tried some thai style logic. “A good boyfriend is looking for someone who looks like a 'rep-roy' girl, and acting like that won't attract a good man.”
'Rep-roy' is not just nice, but dainty, neat, feminine and perfect in one word.
“Yes, I don't look rep-roy now,” she said so softly and sadly that I couldn't believe it was the same strident voice I had heard earlier.
Just then the English boy passed the shop carrying a bag of snacks, but clearly on his own.
“Hey you, where is girl?!” Her voice cut sharply through the night.
“She's gone, so I'm going home to Harmony house,” he said nonchalantly, naming a guesthouse down the road.
“Gone where? Where you leave her?! You buy her all night.” Her voice was getting aggressive now.
“We did it once, and then she just took off into the next room, and I was alone so I'm going home.”
So much for wanting to believe in 'just cuddling'. There was a quick intense interchange in thai between the two older masseurs, who were confused. My masseur thought she might have gone into the wrong room by accident. I was getting the picture that this girl was an airhead.
“You want me to bring her back? I'll go find her and bring her back,” he helpfully offered. He soon came back with her in tow. She embarrassedly explained that she had gone to the bathroom.
“Well, do you want to come with me to Harmony House? It was so quick you know...”
She laughed and grabbed his cheeks, then walked into the shop and grabbed more condoms. Then she drank a cupful of an anti-pregnancy solution and went away with him down the road, with his words floating back over their shoulders, “we got at least 4 more times tonight!”
The Dutch man looked at me and said, “You must treat women right, sleep with them one time ok, some men hit a girl, and 4 times all night is not right.” Slightly unusual moral standard I thought, but said instead, “they have no protection.”
I asked the masseur in the shawl, “How do you know if this is a good person or not?”
She said nothing but just rubbed her fingers together in the international signal for money.
“Some man not nice, hit girls.”
It was now 1 am so I took my leave, “Pi, save up and get out quick ok?”
“I am saving,” she said, but her face looked resigned.
As I walked away her figure hunched over in the covering black shawl was imprinted on my mind. Hours later I realised I hadn't told her the truth because I couldn't verbalise it then. The reason why men couldn't take advantage of her was because deep down she hated it, and they could feel that even through their lust. She still had tatters of self-respect that were being shredded further everyday.
Lastly, as I treaded my way out through the mud I passed the English boy demanding that the Thai girl hand over what she had in her pocket – the condoms. “Take medicine, ok?” was my last quiet words to her in Thai as I walked past into the night.
