Reasons for furlough

As I came through customs into the US, the usual suspicious officer asked, "What kind of job do you have that let's you have 3 months off?"

"It's my furlough", I said. 

"What is that?"

"I'm a missionary and they give us a long break so that we don't burn out."

While that was a very succinct was of putting it, it is part of the truth. As I write this I am on a mini-furlough in the US, road-tripping around it. I already miss Thailand terribly, and in some ways wish to be back constantly, even though it is incredibly hot and smoggy there right now. I guess the first realisation I had then, was that Thailand has truly become home in the last 4 years, as I am homesick.

So I am reminding myself of my reasons for furlough. The Dahlfreds have a great article written up on their blog if you would like to read the overall reasons for furlough, but I'll just process through my own reasons here since so many people have asked me what I am doing in the US.

Reasons for this furlough:

• Reconnecting with friends. Over the years in study and in missions, my friendships have spread all over the world and now I have deep friends I have not seen for years in the US, so I thought it was time. Being in Thailand can occasionally leave me feeling isolated because so many people come and go, but very few stay for the long term, so I average losing at least 5 good friends per year.
• Renewal. While I do take breaks in Thailand, I have come to slowly realize that being out of the Thai context is leaving me time to reflect on experiences and think through bigger picture issues that I just don't even get around to considering usually. Hopefully at the end of this process my head is in better shape to return to Thailand. I am also doing my version of resting, which is just having plain 'ol fun and adventures. On the other hand, being in America is somewhat stressful because I don't know how to do things here (it took me half an hour to figure out how to pump gas the first time) and I have to drive on the right. And it is cold.
• Deputation. As I prepare to step into a new role setting up a field co-ordination team with Project Video, I have been travelling thanking churches for their support, connecting with new churches and people, networking with other mission agencies, and trying to raise the profile of the field co-ordination team. 
• Training. In Thailand, I will the first and currently, the only Field Co-ordinator for Asia. My boss is US based and has been travelling back and forth to pioneer this ministry. When I begin, I will assume some of his Asia-side responsibilities so I will b spending time training with him.

So the overall goal is always longevity. While I don't feel like I'm burning out, I have had very stressful times in the last four years (think of when the car was breaking down in the middle of the Bangkok floods and it looked like my team could be stranded!).  I am there to stay in Thailand and if coming away means that I don't burn out or have a break down further down the track, then I have to keep reminding myself, it is worth it.

You duped me...

In Jeremiah 20:7, the prophet wails,

You deceived me, Lord, and I was deceived
you overpowered me and prevailed
I am ridiculed all day long;
everyone mocks me. (NIV) 

Pretty strong words to accuse God of deception. That word used for deceived could also be translated as persuaded, duped or enticed. So other versions will say,

O Lord, you misled me,
    and I allowed myself to be misled.
You are stronger than I am,
    and you overpowered me.
Now I am mocked every day;
    everyone laughs at me. (NLT)

In that chapter, it seems that the prophet is sick of being mocked by the people he's proclaiming destruction towards, yet he can't stop because the message is like a fire in his heart. He's been doing God's work for a while now, and there has been no repentance from the people, no fruit from his ministry.
So he hits this point in his mission where he feels as if the work is so much harder than God had promised, he has been misled, and perhaps like God has hung him out to dry even though he's been faithful. Jeremiah has just been whipped and put in stocks after all.
I know that his accusation could even sound like blasphemy, since it is accusing God of wrong, yet God has recorded it in His Bible, and there is no verses after to say that God punished Jeremiah for saying it.
Now I will reveal a not very well kept secret of the mission field. At a guess, I would have to say that most long term missionaries hit this point, where in their heart they may be disillusioned in their work and wondering if God has given them a vision, promised to go with them and then left them high and dry.
I know there's certainly been times where I have despaired and asked God, 'If you wanted this done, why is it so hard?' As missionaries we already forfeit our comfort zones and normal support networks of having friends and family nearby. Then we do expect that the going will be hard and that this unreached people will not respond quickly - after all, there's a reason why they are still unreached, right? Then on top of that we may deal with financial woes, sudden car breakdowns, deaths or illness in family far away and finally, other Christians or missionaries who do not share the same vision, or perhaps even actively oppose us.
What was the prophet's conclusion? It was looking ahead to see that God is mighty to save.
Jeremiah 20:11 says,

But the Lord stands beside me like a great warrior.
Before him my persecutors will stumble.
They cannot defeat me. (NLT)

So the two things to remember in a time like this are a) God can handle it if you tell him your true feelings and b) He always comes through in the end.

Taking the Lord's name in vain

When I was little, I was never allowed to 'take the Lord's name in vain.' This meant any sort of utterances like 'Oh my God!' when surprised etc. On a sidenote, I realised that it must just a be natural human reaction to do that because Muslims will say 'Oh Allah!' when they're shocked or surprised, it was a funny thing to hear in a different culture.
Today I was reading Jeremiah 12, and I reached verse 16, where it says 'If these nations quickly learn the ways of my people, and if they learn to swear by my name saying "As surely as the Lord lives" (just as they taught my people to swear by the name of Baal) then they will be given a place among my people.' (NLT)

What? They will get rewarded by God for swearing by his name?! What happened to not taking it in vain?!

So I looked up the Strongs Concordance (http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H7650&t=KJV) on the word 'swear' which turns out to be 'shaba' in Hebrew. It seems to mean to promise to do something in God's name. Reading through a couple of commentaries, it seems that to swear oaths in the name of the Lord is a verbal symbol for being totally committed to the worship of the Lord. So it is a good thing to swear in the name of the Lord, and it explains why He gets so angry about swearing to Baal - it's tantamount to expressing worship of Baal.

So how would be take it in vain then if it is a good thing to swear by God's name? Well, it seems that to 'take' is to bear or exalt the 'name' (the identity or reputation) of God in 'vain' (emptiness). To bear the reputation of God in emptiness. To have the form of godliness without substance. My closest understanding of this verse then would be that God does not want us to have the outward semblances of religious worship while our hearts are far from Him. At the very least, He would not want us to make promises in his name, saying 'As surely as the Lord lives I will do it' and then not go through with it.
He only wants us fully committed to taking his name and living it out. The issue was never that we were taking it, that seems to be a good thing to have the Lord constantly on our lips, but the real problem was when it was in vain, only on our lips and not in our heart.